孤单时 我会想念你 却没有原因没有自信去找你
孤单时 我也会想念你们 但怕会打扰你们的新生活

孤单时 只想有人陪我 做什么都好 不做什么也好
只要有你 或者你们 我就不会觉得一生都是空

大学四年已快结束 生活让我学到了很多 让我变得更成熟 也让我意识到孤单和抑郁
我没有以前那么乐观了
在有些方面上 我失去了自信
我变得害怕了

Hey guys, can I have my best friends back?
I don’t even know anymore. Tired.

(edit)
Stupid medication, it makes me all moody. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.
Either way, I really don’t have time for this crap right now.

Getting dangerously close to another slippery slope :/
It really would be irrational at this point (gotta keep away!)
But why are the most illogical things often also the most alluring things?

My self-control is being tested again.

I always have a sense of dread when I watch myself in videos of my dance performances.
But it’s wayyyyy worse when I see pictures of me dancing. -_-
I don’t think I’ve ever looked nice in a picture. Not photogenic at all. Arghhhhhhh all my flaws are accentuated in these pictures…sigh.
Especially compared to everyone else. So. Fail. I don’t know how I can even stand on stage. So embarrassing. I just want to go delete all of them off Facebook. Burn them from existence o.O

The things that girls are expected/willing to endure to meet some arbitrary standards of beauty…
Sure, a self-assured girl can choose to not heed these standards, but realistically, can we be expected to completely ignore all these images and messages of the “ideal girl” or “ideal woman”?
And it’s not only striving to fit the mold just for the sake of doing so. How successful you are at achieving a similar image says something about you, whether you like it or not. At least, it affects others’ perception of you (and ultimately how you perceive yourself).

It’s really interesting how society can regulate and skew our behavior to such an extent. How can societal norms seem so absolute and loaded with implications.when they’re really just another man-made artifact?

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Being busy really is the only remedy for me. The second I have too much free time, I get anxious and sad and lonely. smh.

My blood pressure is really suffering today. 3 separate situations that have made me rage…today’s been a bad day.

I will probably actually slap the next person who annoys me tonight.

one day of eating whatever the hell I want is okay right? o.o
omg…I don’t even want to think about how many calories I had today…

ughhhhh feel so fat. blarghhhh

For some reason, spring time always makes me a bit sad. But the random days of nice weather during the winter make me super happy. How bizarre, right?

It’s been a draining couple of days. So I’m going to sleep super early tonight (8:30…haha oh dear I really feel old now). Maybe a good night’s sleep is all I need to get over this low.

徐映澄 你一定要加油！