do you ever daydream of dressing boys in better clothes
um yes. kinda like all the time.
In many ways, I’ve been in a state of confusion the past several months. Adjusting to being in medical school and my post-college life took a greater toll on me that I had anticipated. At the end of last year, I went through possibly the darkest period of my life. But thanks to my friends, I got through it, and now I have a tattoo to remind me that I’m stronger than I think.
Since then, I’ve been gradually recovering emotionally, learning to cope with my insecurities and anxieties so that they don’t get the better of me again.
Working on strengthening myself mentally, I’ve neglected other parts of my life though. I may have felt too drained to deal with anything else, or maybe I was just making excuses for myself, but the reason doesn’t matter anymore. If I’ve learned anything these past few months, it’s that I need to forgive myself and look to the future.
What’s important is that I feel ready now to face my life at full speed again. The steps that I’ve taken away from reaching my goals, from being the person I want to be are a bit discouraging, but that won’t stop me. I may bitch and complain, but I’ve never been someone to give up.
Setting goals, making plans, working my butt off…that’s the real me. It’s taken some time for me to reconnect with that Elaine, but I think she’s finally back.
March 1, 2014. Today the world seems a little brighter.
I feel like this all the time. Though as I go more through life, I’ve come to appreciate the value of “playing the game” too. It’s not my nature to beat around the bush or twist my words, but not everyone or every situation benefits from such honesty.